An Ill-Fated Day for Dough

When I woke up at 5 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep, I wondered if it was a bad omen for the day. Trying to think positively, I figured I could be super-productive. Bread-making was on my list today. I always have the best intentions about homemade bread but it seems that I never make it unless I am completely out so I’ve deliberately left bread off my list for the last 2 shopping trips. Being in dire circumstances, I was pressed into making bread today, bad karma or not.

I feel quite domestic when I bake and in all my enthusiasm, I often mix in all the flour without paying attention to the texture of the dough. So after dumping in all 6 cups of flour, I realized that my dough was a little too stiff. I figured my Bosch was equal to the task of softening it out so I let it go to work, figuring I’d take a quick shower and be back to check on it’s progress. Just before bounding up the stairs, I turned it up to high speed, assuming that would help with the dough stretching. 30 minutes later (I, of all people, should know that I am simply not capable of taking a 10 minute shower) I found my dough at approximately 150 degrees and thicker than the proverbial molasses in January. Undeterred, I dumped it into my greased bowl, covered it and set the timer for rising time. Since I needed to make a trip to the store, I decided to “hurry” and dry my hair, return my library book, and go to Walmart, all in 90 minutes. (Note: drive time alone to the library and Walmart is approximately 45 minutes). While I was out I decided to make our truck payment which further delayed my return. When I arrived home 2.5 hours later, the dough had risen but not doubled. My faith that it would eventually turned out had waned but I punched it down to see if it would rise again. After another 30 minutes it became apparent that I’d killed any yeast this dough had working for it. Ever-resourceful, I decided that bagels might be in order instead. Mind you I’ve never made bagels but I figure they need a “stiff” dough and upon consulting my cookbook my assumptions were confirmed. Never mind that the other recipe is completely different from the bread recipe I just botched. I’m pretty sure Einstein’s will be calling me any day now…I did learn a few valuable tips for bagel making…
1. Just like most things made from dough, bagels increase in size as they boil AND bake so you should not start them at full size unless you want mammoth bagels (see above).
2. It is important to completely seal the two ends that you attach to make the circle-otherwise you have half a bagel (see above).
3. There must be some secret to the fancy cornmeal that professionals use…it just made the bottoms of my bagels stay firmly adhered to the pan (see above mangled center bagel).
4. Even if your bagels look horrible they can still be edible with some butter and jam.

And since I didn’t buy any bread while I was at Walmart, it was back to square one with the dough. Hopefully we’ll get bread this time.

13 thoughts on “An Ill-Fated Day for Dough

  1. way to be resourceful with the dough! I never make homemade bread…I always want to…but picking up macey’s bread is just too easy I guess! Those bagels look delightful! 🙂

  2. Does everyone realize I am being completely sarcastic about those pathtetic bagels? If you enlarge the picture you notice that they hardly look edible! Just wanted to make sure my intent was clear: My bread efforts were a wreck.

  3. Oh my! Oh my! I wonder just recipe you are using that takes that long to make bread. My recipe, when doubled, makes 8 loaves and they can be done, start to finish, in 3-4 hours. It might not be the best homemade bread in the world, but it always seems to go. Happy to see that you found some use for your dough! 🙂 Don’t give up! Just keep trying! Love you!

  4. That was HILARIOUS! I wouldn’t have even THOUGHT to make bagels! Very creative. Hope your next dough met your expectations a little bit more. 🙂BY THE WAY!!! I have been so behind at reading everyone’s blogs since I got back from CA, and I just read that you are PREGNANT!!!! HORRAY FOR YOU! We seriously are so excited for you. You will be the world’s greatest parents. 🙂

  5. Um, Grama, I’m sorry to say, that WAS your recipe…hence the problems i had when I let it go WAY TOO LONG. However, my next try turned out so perfectly you’d be proud.

  6. Good try! They still looked good though – nice golden brown, etc. Do you remember the first time I had you help me make rolls here at my house? They were good, but the size of a walnut!!

  7. I’m through trying to make bread. It always turns out too dense. But like you said, nothing that a little butter and jam can’t fix.

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