How change comes to me…

I have spent a lot of time in my life, more than I’d like to admit, contemplating how to change other people.  As I am learning to focus my energy on my own development, I feel the truth of these principles and their application to us as individuals…

1. We don’t usually change because someone tells us to, we change because we realize we want to.   In terms of our interactions with others, our relationships evolve and grow and necessarily entail change but often we change to preserve/strengthen the relationship rather than to fulfill an edict.

2. We are more inclined to change when we feel valued, have resources accessible to us and are given the space and time to choose a course of action.

3.  Lasting change occurs when we internalize principles we learn by experimenting with the resources we’ve invested ourselves in.

4.  The process of genuine change can be agonizingly, excruciatingly, and rewardingly slow.

Does this change the way you think of your own development?

6 Comments on “How change comes to me…

  1. Great post! 🙂 I’ve made quite a few life changes myself recently and wish I read something like this last year. Real change is hard work and determination. I don’t believe that trying to change another person is a great course of action. Acceptance and honesty makes for a much more natural relationship.

  2. Thanks Kimberly, I love the idea of imbuing relationships with acceptance and honesty. It seems like a beautiful way to go about growing together. Thank you.

  3. Pingback: Change and Heaven | Extending Understanding

  4. I think another hard part of wanting to see change in your life and making it happen, especially with behavior, is that sometimes I know I am in over my head but and I feel like I will never be able to change unless I am able to change my surroundings or the conditions of my life. I think you touch on this – but I am still learning how to manage stress in my life that I can’t remove and try to work on the changes within myself. I keep thinking “If only I removed X, I would be a more calm, Christlike person,” when I guess the reality is that SOMETHING will always be in the way of my efforts. I just have to make it happen.

  5. I struggle with that too, in a different way. I think it can be hard to navigate circumstances where we feel very little control. I am frequently reminding myself to zero back in to the things that are in my control in this moment. Usually it’s not a whole lot :). It’s frustrating to feel stuck, especially when the clock is ticking for a variety of things. I’m interested in your efforts in this regard.

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