Overwhelming Ocean Crossings

ocean wave

There was a man named Nephi (pronounced Knee-Fye) who was working to take his family to a safe place where they could live peacefully and worship God.  He sought heaven’s guidance as he journeyed toward this place and God promised him that he would find it.  At one point, after wandering with both his immediate and extended family for quite some time he came to water.  Not just a small bit of water but an ocean.  Like many of us do when faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to our forward progress, Nephi stops for a while, camping at the side of this ocean.  When Nephi comes to terms with the reality that an ocean crossing is in his future he does what faithful people do, he asks God to help him figure out how to make it happen.  He’s not a boater or shipbuilder, he hasn’t brought tools or sails or anything to make this job the least bit easier. But he is a believer and in this instance, like in any instance, that is enough.  He shows his willing (maybe resigned belief) in the next question he asks God which is “Where can I go to find ore to make tools?”  Note that he didn’t ask for a boat.  So often I ask God to deliver a boat to get me across the oceans I face.  But the more oceans I cross with His guidance the more I treasure the grace-full way He teaches me to build boats.  In my experience He is always willing to answer prayers for tools once we cultivate a willingness to build the boat.

Take Action: Are there any tools you need to get somewhere in your life?  Tools that will help you face a daunting obstacle?  Tools that will enable you to move out of a stuck place?   I know God loves us and wants to bless us.  With that in mind, identify what it is you need in order to make forward progress and then ask him to help you find the tools (people, resources, education, wisdom, experience) to make it happen.  Then look earnestly for those things and you will find them.

I married a kind man and other musings on a 20 year relationship

As I mentioned in my “Love Story” Facebook posts a few months back, Ritchie and I went on our first date Valentines Day 1997 which means that we’ve spent the last 20 years cultivating our relationship.   As I look back and reflect on how those two sweet teenagers made their way from that first spark of giddy infatuation to more steady and enduring love, I am reminded of how small consistent decisions have far-reaching consequences.  Here are a few decisions we make that I am so very grateful for…

-Greet with a hug and a kiss.  I watched my parents do this and so it seemed natural to welcome Ritchie home at the end of the day with this small ritual.  When it was just the two of us I would stop whatever I was doing when he got home and meet him at the door.  Now I am usually outpaced by Jessica and Cassie but almost everyday we all express our gratitude for Daddy’s arrival home.

-Fight fair.  Early when we were married I drove Ritchie nuts as I played both referee and combatant in our verbal tiffs.  With my Family Science degree I was armed with communication recommendations (many of which I am still working at :)) and I would stop us in the middle of an argument to insist that we not use words like “always” or “never” or to patiently request a specific example when I felt I was unjustly accused of something. 20 years later that looks like clear and calm communication most of the time.

-Commit to creating something unique.  The relationship we have is unlike any other we have had or ever will have and it is different from any other marriage we know about.  As long as we both keep choosing to make it a priority it will grow and deepen.  We each bring our own gifts and in this shared space of our relationship we seek ways to let those gifts flourish as we develop as individuals, as a couple and now as a family.  As two different individuals seeking to grow, learn and make it through life we sometimes stumble and we each have a birds eye view of the others shortcomings.  In those moments we have the opportunity to extend patience, understanding and love and to witness the distinct beauty that comes from intimate kindness.

-Smile at each other.  As often as we can.  In the unexpected moments, the ones those two teens never could have dreamed of, from the hours of anxious anticipation in IVF clinics to the breathtaking views from mountain jungles sometimes there aren’t words to convey the emotion or the gratitude we’re feeling.  In those moments, with a simple smile I’m saying thank you for the gift of your loyal and incredible soul at my side along this path of life.  I think Ritchie’s smile is saying the same thing that gangly and goofy 17 year old said “Wow.”

Happy Valentines Day.

Things I learned my first week in business

So it turns out when you accidentally start a business there are quite a few things you have to learn really quickly.  Here are a few tidbits I picked up this week:

Important Acronyms to know: 

FEIN (Federal Employer Identification Number)

LLC (Limited Liability Company)

JSN (Just say no…especially important when people ask you to do something you REALLY don’t know how to do-like remove a tree)

TAGQ (Pronounced tah-gque, “That’s a good question”….turns out there are quite a few of these coming my way)

Live & Learn

Don’t apply for your Federal EIN number before your LLC paperwork confirmation comes back.  Because maybe the name you wanted is taken (it turns out checking domain names and the federal EIN site isn’t the same thing as checking in with the State Comptroller.  Who doesn’t buy their domain name when they file their business paperwork!?) and then you have to file a bunch more paperwork to make your EIN Number match your LLC name.

Applying for insurance when your previous experience is a volunteer apprenticeship and the person you worked with is now deceased (but lives on in everything you put in the ground) presents an interesting series of hoops to jump through.  Additionally, submitting a resume, payroll estimates and gross revenue estimates is challenging when you’ve been in business for 2.5 weeks.  But having insurance to bring in jobs and earn that revenue seems like the responsible way to operate.  So much for the advice in $100 Startup to just try something out and see if it works, write the business plan later.

Sometimes things work out and fall into place.  Sometimes they don’t.  Ritchie and I have been trying to figure out a way to create a revenue stream that we could use for humanitarian endeavors.  We’ve sorted through and planned a few different things now but kept hitting roadblocks.  Then this opportunity just kind of opened up and I feel hopeful and confident that Esteban, our newly-sponsored high school student training to be an Agricultural Technician will give this whole endeavor added meaning, motivation and success.   It’s a blessing to use our freedom, gifts, experiences, time and opportunities to empower others.  Until next time, happy landscaping!

The Accidental Entrepreneur or The time I tried to buy an ink cartridge and ended up starting a business.

img_6381A week and a half ago, after setting the intention to be more budget-conscious I found myself needing a black ink cartridge.  Those things are expensive and I didn’t have enough left in my weekly home management budget to buy one.  I could’ve used money from another account or my savings and it would’ve been fine but I tend to do that a lot so I decided to stick to my budget and get creative.  I printed everything in blue ink instead of black for a while but as the week wore on this strategy got increasingly frustrating and I found myself with a list of “things to print when I get an ink cartridge.”  I needed a black ink cartridge to live efficiently.  I decided I could try to earn one.  Now I’m a little rusty when it comes to earning money since I’ve been staying home with Jessica (and preparing for Jessica and trying to conceive Jessica) for the past 11 years and I’m particular about the time I commit outside our home.  So I decided to post a message on my community Facebook group offering to cut back the myriad brown and crunchy frozen plants in people’s front yards.  I listed my qualifications (Master Gardener Training, Landscape Design practice/consulting) as well as my availability (3 spots on Thursday) and price ($20).  I hoped 3 people would want to take me up on my offer so I could buy my ink cartridge and get on with my life.  In less than 3 minutes I had 3 customers and I was elated.  Within 8 minutes I had 5 customers so I said I could do 2 front yards on Friday too (Hey, I thought, I can also buy the essential oil I’ve been needing to replenish).  By the end of the night I had about 20 messages and by the next morning I was up to 30.  The following week saw an additional 10 people added to my list, each wanting a different service (tree pruning, lawn consultation, landscape design, winter clean-up).  As I met with different neighbors I realized that I inadvertently stumbled into a ready market for my landscape love.  I’ve worked hard, I’ve made some mistakes, I’ve learned a lot, I’ve gotten dirty, I bought a hedge-trimmer and wielded it with pride (because I spent 60 hand-cramping minutes cutting back ornamental grass with hand pruners and that hedge trimmer gets the job done in less than a minute!).  So this past week I filed papers with the Texas State Comptroller to officially establish Beautiful Village Landscaping LLC.  Now proudly (and humbly) operating in Bulverde Village.

Experience Joy

Each day we breathe we’re invited to increase our capacity for experiencing life, for really living.  We can choose to use our experiences to support this goal of being vibrantly and fully alive.  Many times we notice this invitation when we feel sadness, grief, guilt or sorrow.  We may shy away from these experiences or cover the emotions and avoid processing them because they are uncomfortable.   In the thick of a challenging moment it can be soothing to remember that you are simultaneously deepinging your channels for feeling joy and peace.   So navigate your way through struggle with as much grace and support as you can access and then look for the deeper joy and peace that are now inherently yours as well.

Intentional Sacrifice

The Lord has always asked His people to sacrifice.  It’s looked different throughout Judeo-Christian history but the principle has been constant. Regardless of the sacrifice, Israel of old and the Savior’s followers now are asked to give something to the Lord that puts them in a vulnerable position.  That’s the nature of sacrifice right?  It hurts a little, or sometimes a lot.  We give something we want or love or maybe even need.  When the Lord asked Israel to offer up the firstlings of her flocks and her beautiful, unblemished rams, she was handing over very useful, perhaps even vital elements of her livelihood in order to be obedient.

In this day, one of the sacrifices that the Lord asks for is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  A lot of times that feels like willingness to me and I find myself struggling to find clarity in what the Lord is asking me to do.  In an effort to wade through the overwhelming number of ways to humbly obey and give of myself, I grapple with words like ‘needful’ and ‘expedient’ and ‘requisite.’  I seek to understand whether a situation is calling for specific talents or time or energy that I can lay on the altar.  This intricate dance is one that I get wrong often, either withholding too much or diving in with gusto that I actually can’t sustain.  It’s in those moments though, where I have the opportunity to see Him, to have Him teach me where I crossed the “needful” line or what about my offering was just below requisite.  I think it’s important to be willing to experiment because the process of learning to sacrifice can have sweet blessings.

The Nature of Growth

You wouldn’t know it by looking at cotton, but like any fruitful creation, it’s seeds are carefully housed inside it.  With the fluff peeled back you can see the seed just waiting for the protective seasonal covering to fade away so it can grow.  Sometimes our personal protective coverings are hard to give up but it’s essential to the process of growth.  The decay of one gives rise to the other.  So the next time one of your protective walls comes down (in mind, experience or emotion) look for what is uncovered and thus able to grow.  Then nurture that thing by your thoughts and actions with a curiosity toward what fruit will come of it.

Abundance is everywhere…

if that’s what you’re seeking.  There was a time when I would focus on all that was missing from a picture like this.  That view was usually wrapped around a desire for more carefree cartwheeling children.  Life is so much richer now that I have eyes to see all that is there.  There is one beautiful joyful child and I get to mother her. There are cartwheeeling children the world over.  They don’t need to be mine for me to appreciate the hope, love and meaning that they represent.  The overflowing love I have for this one can fill her and then spread wherever it’s needed.  

 Whenever I need a reminder about what abundance feels like, I look at the never-ending sky and feel gratitude for the chance to experience life below it each day.  And then I do a cartwheel.

Bodies can heal

I have been off my synthroid medication for 8 months. I had my 6 month follow up in February and my antibodies were the lowest they’ve ever been, my thyroid hormones were were great.  I’m telling you this to give you hope because bodies can heal.  I have been told (repeatedly) by all manner of individuals that this doesn’t happen.  I have been told by a small handful that it can.  Anything is possible.

I remember sitting on the living room floor with Ritchie 2 years ago.  I’d just been to the doctor where they suspected I had celiac disease.  I was devastated because autoimmunity can be a slide and once you have one disease it’s easy to start collecting disorders until eventually your body is just mired in dysfunction.  I sat there feeling so disheartened at the prospect of that and also humble.  Like, well, if this is what God wants I will accept it.  But, like many of you, I had other plans!  Mainly living with and loving my family having adventures, using my gifts and skills to help other people grow.  These last few years have been an interesting adventure in cultivating a deeper understanding of the interesting tapestry that is woven from personal choice and God’s will.  Sitting on the floor in tears, I didn’t feel like I had filled the measure of my creation, there was more for me to do.  And not in a self-aggrandizement kind of way, just in a mothering-give-back-to-humanity kind of way.  So I asked God to help me figure out a way to do that, to fill the measure of my creation.   I remember praying to be healed and then over time I changed my prayers to ask for the gift of healing.  Instead of relying on something external to change my circumstance, the gift of healing meant asking God to teach me about this beautiful creation of his (the body) and to help me understand it and how to work with it’s natural tendency to heal.  I think sometimes we think of the gift of healing as something we have and use for other people but in my experience asking for the gift of healing to heal myself has been a different kind of prayer leading to a beautiful journey.  Like any artist, I have found my Heavenly Father to be more than willing to share the intricacies of His creations  with me.  Tune into your inherent strength & divinity, be brave enough to seek it and see what happens!

With love,

Lindsay 2.0